i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
