dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just gift wrapped bread.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
