I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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