Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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