I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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