Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
