oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize