Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Randomize
