come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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