Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
