Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
