ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
