I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
