ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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