I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
