he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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