They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
