The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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