I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize