So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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