would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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