I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
3pm strippers are depressing
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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