Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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