I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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