So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
