I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She even gives head with a lisp.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
wow bdsm is so cute
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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