I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So many bounce houses so little time
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
