THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize