Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
