@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
