Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
