So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
