Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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