I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
