EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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