He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize