Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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