Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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