just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
