it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
