I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
