We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
