I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
