dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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