you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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