I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
