a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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