wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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