i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
