Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
third nipple confirmed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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