24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
