thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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