I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
