Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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