you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm really into asian looking animals
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
