Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
