I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
