Nicole vs. Life
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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