Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
