Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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