omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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