somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
