If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
