And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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