Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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