Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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