And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
