So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
