my vag is so smooth its legendary
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
