if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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