that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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